


7 Days of Meme Hell

by Mycelle



Series: Memes are Hell When You're an Android [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: A year from now they're gonna be so outdated but whatever, But Nines is a stubborn android, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Connor is just tired, Established Relationship, He already knows about memes from Hank's shenanigans, He probably took obligatory Spanish classes in high school, He still doesn't understand them but he's given up trying, M/M, Memes, Minor Hank Anderson/Connor, Nines is Trying™, Recommends Nines to do the same lmao, Stubborn for like one (1) day, You can't tell me Gavin wouldn't memorize the lyrics to Despacito, so many memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-12 01:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17457989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mycelle/pseuds/Mycelle
Summary: Gavin finds out that Nines can't understand memes, so what does he do?Take every opportunity he can to drop any and every meme for 7 straight days.





	7 Days of Meme Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even a certified Memer™ but I had to write this after getting the idea of how distraught Nines would be trying to understand memes
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!!

It had been a rather shitty day for Gavin Reed. The coffee machine was broken this morning, Nines didn't let him get any coffee from outside, and they had been too busy busting their balls with work to even go out in the first place. To top it all off? They had been assigned a case with fucking Anderson and his twink of an android.

But then the day started taking a whole fucking different sort of route with a simple, instinctive blurting of words.

See, when you lived in the midst of prime meme culture, there’s no fucking way that shit doesn’t imprint onto you even as a grown-ass adult.

So you can’t blame Gavin Reed, a fucking _teen_ during the memepocalypse, to _not_ grumble “what a big fucking mood” as they--and by they he means him and Nines--examined the corpse for the case they were currently investigating along with shitface Anderson and his poodle.

It was out of pure impulse than anything; he only registered what he said when Anderson let out a stifled snort. He snapped his head and was about to tell him to go fuck himself...until he saw the confused look on Nines’s face.

Gavin blinked once, twice. It took a moment before the realization dawned on him.

_Nines doesn’t know what fucking memes are._

“Detective Reed, are you alright?” the android’s normally-blank expression had the slightest hint of a frown on it. It had taken all of the fucking months he had worked with him to catch his micro-expressions, and even now sometimes it would still fucking fly past him. He would have felt that little mushy bit of warmth that only Nines could do to him for his concern, were he not too busy realizing _what a golden fucking opportunity he has right now_.

“What, Nines? This guy over here, he’s a big fucking mood man”--Nines’s expression and the way his eyebrow quirked ever so slightly is fucking _priceless_ \--”like, we stan a man, right Anderson?” Gavin knows he probably shouldn’t be dicking around at a crime scene with a dead man in front of them, but the _look_ on Nines’s face of utter befuddlement? There was no way he was letting it go that easily.

Now, he and Anderson have never been on remotely good terms, but Gavin’s glad that the lieutenant is also fucking cultured.

“Yeah, a big fucking mood if ‘ya ask me,” he snorts when he’s mentioned, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he glances over the body. “‘Specially when I gotta work with an asshole like you.”

Gavin gives the rare privilege of ignoring that last part in favor of watching Nines’s LED flicker between blue and yellow as he glances between Anderson, the body, and him, and then back to Anderson. Gavin doesn’t think he’s ever smiled harder in his goddamn life.

This was going to be _fun_.

~ ⭕️ ~

Nines is an RK900, built with state-of-the-art technology. He was meant to surpass his predecessor; be stronger, quicker, more resilient than the RK800 series.

So why was it that he didn't have a single clue as to what was going on with his partner??

It started with that investigation yesterday. He had tried to research the meaning and context behind Gavin’s words when his attempts at comprehension kept ending with stifled laughter. The human then kept saying more incomprehensible phrases to him once they returned home, which only frustrated the android even more.

No matter how much research he did on the internet, he couldn't quite fully comprehend the meaning behind Gavin’s words, such as “big dick energy” (do dicks even store energy?? He tried to look into that too but to no avail). He was beyond confounded as well when Gavin pushed his head into his elbow and straightened out his arms diagonally after saying something dreadfully unamusing that he thought witty.

It seemed to make him happy, though, and Nines couldn't say that he didn't enjoy the 18 new additions to his folder dedicated solely to screenshots of Gavin’s smile, but still, he would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit...miffed, he supposed he could say, with not understanding what Gavin was saying.

But, he was a detective, one with advanced programs and technology on his side.

**[ OBJECTIVE: UNDERSTAND GAVIN’S BEHAVIOR ]**

He will not fail this mission.

~ ⭕️ ~

It was now Day 3 of ‘fuck with Nines with memes’, and Gavin has got to say, he has been enjoying this too fucking much.

“This bitch empty, YEET!” Gavin took great enjoyment in tossing his empty coffee cup across the precinct.

A few of his coworkers were looking at him with utter disgust, but Gavin didn’t give a single shit. Nines’s fucking _staring_ at the trash can for a good few seconds with a yellow whirring LED was more than enough for him to not care about what anyone else thought about his old-ass memery. He even spared a glance towards fuckwad Anderson and saw him snickering behind his cup of coffee whereas Connor’s expression seemed tired as he typed away at his computer. Gavin briefly wondered if Anderson actually did this shit with Connor already, but he didn’t have enough motivation to talk to either asshole to ask, so he didn’t.

Instead, Gavin turned his attention back to his partner when he started talking. “Detective Reed...why did you throw your coffee cup in such a manner?” Oh, _oh_ , Gavin could fucking _tell_ that Nines was actually making an effort to understand him, to find some logic in what he was saying and doing.

But _oh_ … “Because the bitch was empty, Nines!” There was just no way, not in Gavin’s mind, at least, that Nines could ever fucking understand the _memes_ he grew up with. He wasn’t sure the younger generation even could, if he was honest. Even if it was explainable, Gavin sure as hell wasn’t going to make it easy.

Not when the fucking furrowing of Nines’s brows as he tries to process that information is so close to being described as _distraught_ , and it was more than enough to make Gavin dissolve into a series of snickers, even when the entrance to Fowler’s door slammed open and the captain yelled, “REED, STOP QUOTING MEMES AND GET TO WORK!”

No, even then he couldn’t stop laughing. The look on Nines’s face was too fucking good, and he knew, _oh he knew_ , it was only gonna get better from here on out.  

~ ⭕️ ~

It was only Day 4 of his investigation, and Nines didn’t wish to admit it, but he really was starting to lose patience. Gavin was now constantly throwing “memes” at him, and despite his best efforts, Nines was unable to understand what ‘bread’ Gavin wished to get when they walked into the precinct, nor could he understand what the fuck the detective was trying to do when he once again made a strange gesture of jutting his fist out in front of Tina. He had asked, and all he got as an answer was “you’ve never seen someone fucking whip, Nines?!” It was the closest thing he could ever have gotten to an answer, but it still didn’t fucking make it comprehensible (a whip? How was that related to an object? Was it the gesture?). There was even a moment when he had thrown sunglasses on, despite the fact that there was no bright sunlight within the precinct, and proceeded to shove people out of the break room saying “Move, I’m gay.”

Even that sort of behavior, which honestly seemed very “Gavin-esque”, was apparently a “meme” as Detective Chen seemed very amused by it, as well as Lieutenant Anderson. They seemed to find enjoyment out of Gavin’s...antics, but when Nines glanced towards his “brother,” he saw quite the opposite.

He had the intent to not to ask Connor for assistance with his objective, but, with him now sitting idly with his and Gavin’s shared apartment and staring at his message interface flashing across his vision, he decided he could no longer take it.

**[ CONNECTION WITH CONNOR #313 248 317 - 51  REQUESTED ]**

**[ CONNECTION WITH CONNOR #313 248 317 - 51  ACCEPTED ]**

**[ Nines? Is something wrong? ]**

_[ If you are currently free, I would like your assistance on something. ]_ Nines could practically feel the amusement and curiosity of his brother over their mental connection. Nines didn't like to ask for help often, after all.

**[ I’m not currently doing anything at the moment. What is it? ]**

_[ Do you understand this image? ]_ he sent the picture that Gavin had sent him when they had gotten home.

 **[** **_Oh._ ** **]** Nines wasn't an emotionally sensitive android, but he most certainly could feel the disdain that passed through their connection, along with a sense of pity.

 _[ I do not understand. What am I handling? What does the image mean? I do not see how it connects to me deserving the next image. ]_ Nines pressed. He swore he could practically _hear_ his predecessor sighing.

 **[ Nines, you just have to accept the fact that these memes are incomprehensible. ]** Nines tried to hold back his disappointment at such an answer. Judging by the hint of resignation in Connor’s voice, he came to the conclusion that his predecessor had once tried the same objective as he. **[ Trust me, you can't fight it. ]**

Nines, however, was meant to succeed where the RK800 had failed. _[ Thank you for your advice, but I think I will continue to pursue this objective. ]_ He could tell Connor wished to dissuade him from it, but the response he got was:

**[ Alright, but I did warn you. ]**

A twitch of a smile curled into Nines’s lips briefly before he agreed and said his farewells. He sat idly on the couch, hearing Gavin’s faint voice singing a song with Spanish lyrics as he showered. Curious as to when the detective learned Spanish, a quick search told him it was a song by the name of Despacito...and that it was heavily tied to “memes” as well.

Nines heaved a heavy sigh and decided to soothe his frustrations by gently petting Mia, who seemed to have noticed his distress and decided to curl up in his lap.

He smiled softly as his fingers gently carded through the soft brown fur. He supposed one of the only good things to have come from this whole “meme” situation was the video of the animated cat playing bongos that Gavin had also sent him.

He couldn't understand what prompted the creation of such a video, but he would admit that it was one of the only enjoyable “memes”.

~ ⭕️ ~

Day 5, and man were things getting fucking wild.

Gavin could tell Nines was starting to reach a breaking point with his shenanigans, but he seemed so damned determined to figure him and his memes out that he almost felt fucking sorry for him.

Emphasis on almost.

The next day they're at work, and when he finally has enough time to get a fucking break, Gavin decides to waltz right the fuck in towards Anderson.

“Hey, dickwad,” he greets, loud enough that Nines would be able to hear, but not so much he was fucking yelling. The lieutenant looks at him with a less-than-amused face, and honestly, who could blame him? They've had beef for years, and honestly Gavin’s really fucking surprised his first words are “what?” instead of “fuck off, prick”. Does that mean their relationship is improving, or is it because he knows what he's gonna say next?

“Was it Yanny or Laurel for ‘ya?” See, Gavin doesn't need to give any sort of context or explanation, because it only takes a split second before realization hits Hank and he lets put a gruff scoff.

“It was Laurel for fuck’s sake, Reed,” he answers. “S’what it said on TV and everything.”

“Aw c’mon Anderson, you can't trust the TV! It--”

“Excuse me, Detective Reed and Lieutenant,” Gavin was honestly surprised Nines actually came up to them. “May I ask who Yanny and/or Laurel is?” It was really hard for him not to snort when he caught the way Connor shook his head in disapproval and fucking _remorse_.

“Ah, just some old shit from the late 2010s.” Though, Gavin wasn’t going to lie, it was fucking _hilarious_ when it was _Anderson_ that waves Nines off. The fucker treated Nines like a son, and usually it would make Gavin fucking gag, but this time the very subtle look of _betrayal_ was so fulfilling to see. “S’not something you'd be able to understand.” Fuck, it takes all of Gavin’s willpower not to bust a lung laughing. He had to turn his head away from Nines and the way his eyes almost fucking _twitched_ with Anderson’s response or else he'd really fucking lose it.

~ ⭕️ ~

Day 6. Nines was starting to...approach his limit.

 _[ Connor, I can't understand. ]_ Even _he_ could hear the desperation in his voice at this point. It had nearly been a week of this fucking nightmare.

 **[ I warned you, brother. ]** The almost smug tone in his predecessor’s voice was not lost on him, but he was so exasperated that he couldn’t find it in himself to protest.

 _[ Detective Reed tried to consume detergent pods today. ]_ Nines relayed tiredly. _[ When I stopped him because it was detrimental to his health, he just started...laughing...is risking your life supposed to be humorous? ]_

There was a pause. **[ According to archived videos of humans doing the same thing almost twenty years ago, I’d have to say yes. ]**

 _[ What is wrong with Detective Reed’s generation? ]_ The blunt question earned him a bitter chuckle.

 **[ That is a question I’m still trying to figure out. ]** NInes was starting to realize why his predecessor sounded so tired every time they brought up the subject of “memes”. It was really tempting to call them incomprehensible, to give up on his objective. He rubbed his eyes as he ended the mental connection with Connor.

 _One more day,_ his mind insisted. _Give it one more day to try and investigate._

~ ⭕️ ~

Day 7. It was one of the stupidest things he had ever created with his own two hands (one, not _the_ , Gavin had done way stupider), but he had to do something extravagant for the last day of this fucking wild ride. He wished he could continue fucking with Nines, but even he knew that the android was close if not already _at_ his limit with his shenanigans. It was fucking hilarious to watch the android dissolve from curiosity and determination to exasperation and frustration, but enough was enough at some point.

That was why he was going to go all out on the so-called last day. It wasn’t his greatest work as he had literally gotten the idea at 4:00 am and just haphazardly slapped it together, but it should do the trick.

It was a simple gag, one that probably wouldn’t last the whole day and wouldn’t have been as fun as if he would have gotten the chance to do it at the precinct, but a) it was his and Nines’s day off, and b) he was pretty fucking sure Fowler would have chewed his ear off the very moment he even tried to put it up.

So he was just going to have to make do with what he had, which was the shitty little dining table Nines had insisted he buy instead of eating at the couch.

He taped up his little thing to the table and then grabbed a bowl of grapes that he had literally gone out and bought for the sole purpose of this joke.

He couldn’t wait for Nines to come out of stasis and see this shit.

~ ⭕️ ~

It was finally day 7. Nines has had a whole week, approximately 150 hours, to at least reach a basic understanding of Gavin’s incomprehensible behavior. Unfortunately, even with research gained from the internet and the detective’s few...”clues,” Nines wasn’t any closer to understanding any of it. It was quite frustrating, and he supposed he was going to have to take Connor’s advice and give up his objective. The thought of seeing the blaring red **[ OBJECTIVE FAILED ]** flash across his vision made him feel unpleasant. He hoped that if Gavin wasn’t going to explain his behavior, he wouldn’t be too harsh and continue it after today; he supposed that once he lost interest in trying to understand, Gavin would also subsequently no longer enjoy it and also stop.

However, it seemed that his prayers would go unheard.

“Morning, Sunshine.” Nines now stood at the entrance to the kitchen/dining room, where Gavin was holding a coffee cup in one of his hands with a rather smug look on his expression. That wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary were it not for the sign taped onto the table that clearly had the words “Nines can’t understand memes for shit” printed with “CHANGE MY MIND” right underneath it.

And if that wasn’t enough... “Did you know”--Nines watched as Gavin popped a grape into his mouth--” “they did surgery on a grape?”

And that was it. Nines fucking lost it.

He started walking towards Gavin, which made him blink and then stiffen. “Nines? Hey, wait, Nines--” The detective shifted to sit up from his position on the dining table. It seemed that either being a detective made it easy to detect Nines’s malice, or it simply was just that clear. Either way didn’t matter, the android supposed. “C-come on babe, it was just a joke--”

“Don’t be afraid Gavin,” Nines simply responded, his voice holding no inflection, “I simply wish to ‘yeet’ you out the window.” Gavin scrambled out of his seat at that.

“Nines wait hold oN--” Gavin starting to back up with his hands held up in surrender, flinching when his back pressed against the wall of the living room. Nines didn’t stop his approach as he mentally flicked away the red **[ OBJECTIVE FAILED ]** in favor of following his new objective, which should be much, _much_ simpler.

“NINES WAIT HOLY SHIT--” Gavin seemed to think he had been joking, but Nines easily fixed that misconception as he grabbed ahold of the detective’s waist.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Come yell at me and give requests at [my tumblr (mycelle-hell)](https://mycelle-hell.tumblr.com) if you'd like!


End file.
